


i put my heart into your hands

by Pallet_and_Cerulean



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F!Byleth, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Spoilers, Spoilers for Crimson Flower Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 03:59:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20500517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pallet_and_Cerulean/pseuds/Pallet_and_Cerulean
Summary: “Do remember what you said when you...” Byleth began, trailing off to choose her words more carefully, “when Dimitri died?” Of course, Byleth still remembered, and she doubted Edelgard would forget any time soon.“The Edelgard who shed tears died long ago.”orEdelgard and Byleth talk late one night after the end of the war.





	i put my heart into your hands

Byleth never expected the period of lull and quiet after the war. After all, there were still some rather... unpleasant loose ends to tie up. Nevertheless, Edelgard assured they would be dealt with, but that a small break was deserved. They had fought for peace and won it, even if they must keep fighting to protect it, and at the very least, they had earned the right to enjoy it for a moment. 

And, then, sitting at the edge of the fishing dock, back at the monastery that had become her home, Byleth was certain she had never felt more at peace. The stars glittered on the glassy surface of the water, all painted into the deep, ink-washed sky. A gentle breeze rustled through the trees, pleasantly cool and sweet. And above all, Byleth was grateful for the quiet hush settled over everything. There were no late running meetings, rushed preparations, or anxious soldiers up training. For the first time, it really sunk in that the war was over and settled. 

Though, it was hardly a moment later that footsteps caught her attention, shoes clicking quietly on the stone underfoot. Turning away from the lake, Byleth let her gaze flit over to see who else was awake at the late hour. Or, perhaps it was an early hour by then; she wasn’t sure. A spray of loose, white hair caught her attention first, beautifully luminous in the moonlight. Then, pale lavender eyes, crinkled ever so slightly at the corners with something of a bittersweet smile. It didn’t touch her lips, though, pressed into a soft line. She looked absolutely breathtaking, no longer dressed in the uptight costuming of an emperor, but a loose, burgundy robe thrown absently on. 

“Would you mind if I join you?” Edelgard asked softly, stopping at the far end of the deck, like she was afraid she’d be intruding if she came any closer. A little amused, Byleth smiled gently at that, wondering how, even with the ring that carried her own love and heart on her finger, Edelgard could think she wasn’t welcome. 

“You aren’t having trouble with nightmares, I hope,” Byleth said sincerely, patting the space beside her in invitation. 

Edelgard stiffened a little at the comment, and Byleth knew she hit right on the mark. Still, she didn’t say anything, didn’t pry, as Edelgard came to take a seat beside her. “They won’t go away so easily just because we won.” The reply was quiet and ginger, laced with something like grief. “It unfortunately isn’t that simple,” she added heavily, like she had hoped it too and was disappointed to be awoken by the ghosts of her past. 

“I know,” Byleth assured softly. Tentatively, she reached out for Edelgard’s hand, giving her plenty of space to pull away if she wanted. But, Byleth found thin fingers slipping between hers, a warm palm held against her own. Still gazing out at the lake, a pleasant smile flickered across her lips at the warmth suffusing through her chest. 

“I trust you aren’t out here because of nightmares too,” Edelgard prompted, but with the gentle squeeze of her hand, it felt more like a genuinely concerned question than a simple statement. Byleth could feel her gaze, too, searching. 

“I was just relaxing and I guess time got away from me,” Byleth replied, offering most of the truth. She hadn’t only been relaxing, but thinking as well, her mind turning a certain thought over and over again, like a pebble in a stream, until it was smooth and polished. It was a memory, or two connected memories, rather, and a Byleth figured there was no better time to ask Edelgard about the sole thing that had been settled in her mind since the war had ended. 

Only when the silence had stretched long and settled in comfortably did Byleth venture to break it. There was something about the ease, the contentment, that gave her the courage to ask. She only hoped she wouldn’t be ruining the pleasant atmosphere that had so nicely settled over them. “El,” Byleth started, a little tentative. Her gaze drifted off the pond and over to Edelgard instead, just in time to catch the soft, pink blush that dusted across her cheeks. 

Merely turning to face Byleth, she brought her free hand up to sweep some of the loose hair behind her ear. She didn’t say a word, but made her full attention clear, eyes sharp and focused despite the slight, tired lull. Byleth appreciated it, not knowing what she would have done if Edelgard had said something to make her lose her nerve. She wasn’t usually one for timidity or reluctance, but matters of the heart, especially given her understanding of the heart was still so new, were something of uncharted ground. 

“Do remember what you said when you...” Byleth began, trailing off to choose her words more carefully, “when Dimitri died?” Of course, Byleth still remembered, and she doubted Edelgard would forget any time soon. 

“The Edelgard who shed tears died long ago,” she echoed, the words coming so easily, so eerily similar to the way they had sounded that day, that Byleth couldn’t help but wonder how many times she had thought back on that moment, or relived it in a twisted dream. Her voice was grave and heavy, something cold running through Byleth’s veins at the sound of it. Her chest twisted, knowing that she had been the one to dredge up such a grim memory. 

“I thought you were telling the truth, when you said it,” Byleth said gently, and, at the time, Edelgard probably thought the same. She had been the one to kill her old friend, to bury a blade in flesh and bone until the life bled out of him and stained her hands with the kind of blood you couldn’t see but always felt. Yet, her voice wavered and she averted her eyes, but no tears fell. Whether it was willpower alone, or something cold and numb gripping at her heart, Byleth didn’t know. 

“But the night in Fhirdiad, after we beat Rhea...” she said gently, wondering. 

Byleth had to admit, her memory of that night was foggy, after a point. It was razor sharp for the entirety of the battle, every slash of her sword, every drop of allied and opposing blood spilled, was burned into the back of her mind. And that sense of innate trust and security she felt, standing side by side with Edelgard, facing down the very last threat that stood between them and a united Fodlan, was unforgettable. But, when the beast fell and heaved out a final, rasping breath, everything went blurry and her chest started to ache. Then all she knew was darkness.

She had no idea how long she had been unconscious, but when the world faded back into view, everything felt far away and hazy, like she was reaching through fog to find the memories. Still, a handful of the sensations felt like they were etched as a memory into her skin, and she could feel them just as clear now as then. First was the strange throbbing in her chest, overwhelming and dizzying, the heartbeat she had never known. Second was the arms wrapped so tenderly and securely around her. She felt warm and safe and comforted in a way that she scarcely felt, even before she registered who was holding her so close. Third was the gentle, quiet laughter against her ear, the breaths warm, stirring the stray strands of hair that had fallen there. It was only then, hearing that sweet, utterly relieved sound, that Byleth connected what was going on, that Edelgard was cradling her to her chest, holding her.

Though, the last detail almost slipped Byleth’s notice in her dazed fog. But when Edelgard shifted, Byleth felt it. Damp skin and damp lashes against her cheek. Edelgard had been crying for her. And in the moment, she had hardly thought anything of it, just instinctively clinging tight to Edelgard and trying to get used to the way her heartbeat stumbled over itself at their closeness. 

“You cried that night,” Byleth said, and the weight of the realization hit her all over again. The girl who thought she couldn’t cry anymore, so hardened to the world, had shed tears for her sake. 

“Do you know how scary it was to not hear your heart beating?” Edelgard asked, voice clogged with emotion. Caught up in her memories, Byleth had hardly noticed the way Edelgard was looking at her, here and now. Her eyes were damp and misty, dark lashes clumped together, but her lips were set in a hard line. There was something almost desperate flashing in her expression, her grip tightening ever so slightly on Byleth’s hand. “I had just gotten you back and I thought you were-“ Before she could finish the thought, her voice broke and she cut herself off, forehead falling to rest against Byleth’s shoulder. 

Byleth had never truly understood heartbreak until that moment, or at least not the physical sensation. But the clenching ache in her chest couldn’t be anything else. Guilt washed over her, coiling tight in her stomach, and she didn’t know how to stop it. She had put Edelgard through so much grief, when all she wanted was to protect her, shield her from all of it. “I’m sorry,” Byleth replied on a wavering breath. She dropped her head to rest against Edelgard’s, soft hair pressed to her cheek, and carefully brought the hand that was still in hers to lay flat against her chest. Even as it sped a little, her heart beat steadily beneath Edelgard’s palm. “I’m here now, and I swear I’ll never leave you again.”

Edelgard laughed a little, watery and relieved, and some of the tension drained from her shoulders. But, just to be sure, she pressed her hand a little tighter to Byleth’s chest, assuring herself with every soothing beat. Eventually, Byleth raised her head, Edelgard following suit if for no other reason than to meet the deep blue eyes looking back at her. She would never say it, but she was relieved to have her Byleth back, the one with dark hair and an innocent gaze, not the haunting shadow of a goddess and an appearance far too like Rhea’s. 

“I hadn’t cried for five years, before that night,” Edelgard said quietly, having gathered back some of her composure. 

Immediately, those two words stuck in Byleth’s head. Five years. “It was me, then,” she replied, shifting her gaze to the still water below. She couldn’t stand to look at Edelgard, too many raw emotions surging up. 

“Truth be told, I was inconsolable, for a time. It was childish, frankly. I’m ashamed of how I acted, but I dug through the rubble for days, and cried for most of that time,” Edelgard replied, her cheeks going red with shame and her voice starting to waver just slightly. Still, she kept her calm and continued on. “Nothing hurt that badly ever again, so I had no reason to cry,” she said firmly. 

Byleth’s heart stuttered in her chest at the words. When they were reunited the night Byleth awoke after that five year slumber, it had been clear that Edelgard missed her, mourned for her. And the rest of the students, Caspar especially, had been keen to hint at how rough her disappearance was on Edelgard. But, even then, Byleth had never realized just how deep Edelgard’s grief had cut. But now, the images of a girl, too young and innocent, crouching in the rubble, haunted her. She could nearly see it all playing out through the shadows of the past. Edelgard, bruised and bloodied from the battle, straining to pull up the rocks and boulders, her cheeks damp and reddened with streaking tear tracks. 

An apology lingered on Byleth’s lips, but it felt almost insulting to say, too insignificant and years too late. So she held it there, moisture and heat prickling at her eyes while she tried to think of some way to convey the awful regret churning in her gut. Nothing seemed to carry enough weight to truly express the intensity of the emotion, so instead, she turned to something lighter sweeter, to try to soothe the ache left from all those years. 

“My heart beats for you now,” Byleth breathed, following whatever impulse she could gather. “As long as you still live, nothing will pull me away from you ever again. I swear it,” she assured, steadfast and strong. 

For a long moment, silence stretched over them, and Byleth couldn’t help but wonder if she’d said something wrong. Though, that worry faded as soon as Edelgard slid a little closer, wrapping her arms around Byleth in a tight embrace. “Do you really mean it?” she asked finally, voice laced with raw emotion. 

Gently, Byleth pulled Edelgard closer, her heart aching and acting up. Her hands found their way to Edelgard’s silky locks, spilling loose down her back. She soothed them both, methodically running her fingers through the pale strands. “I do. I promise,” Byleth said, conviction clear in her voice. “I love you, and I’m not letting you go.”

It was only when Edelgard stiffened, pulled away to meet her gaze, lilac eyes wide with surprise, that Byleth realized the weight of what she had said. In the moment, her feelings had just bled out from her heart to her tongue, and she hadn’t given them a second thought. Regardless of rings and promises to share their lives together, Byleth had never declared her love so freely and simply. She hadn’t even intended to, just, holding Edelgard in that moment, the warmth and affection and fondness all welling in her chest needed somewhere to go. 

Edelgard collected her composure rather quickly, even while pink still lingered high on her cheeks. “I’m honored,” she replied gently. Though, Byleth thought she was the only one who should feel honored, considering the very Emperor of Fodlan had chosen her. Before she could say as much, Edelgard smiled, warm like the sun and every bit as bright, and Byleth lost her breath for a moment. “I’m sure you know already, but I treasure you more than anything, more than my own life. I can say with certainty that I will never stop loving you.”

With those words lingering sweetly in the air, Byleth breathing them in, Edelgard pressed a tender kiss to her temple. Even the small affection sent ripples of warmth through Byleth, her heart beating fondly in a light, fluttering rhythm. Once again, she pulled Edelgard into her arms, and this time, she didn’t let go. She hardly cared how late it was, or whether someone might wake and see them. She had her whole world in her arms, and that was all that mattered. And even if it took years of bloodshed and struggle, the world they had built was worth the trouble, if it allowed for moments so sweet as that.


End file.
